Toxicity in the workplace - trigger warning… you might not be ready to hear this..

Author : Kirstey Jane - Human Behaviour & Relationship Strategist

I’m going to bet that the moment you read the title of this article, you either smirked or felt a pit in your stomach as you could instantly relate to a situation at work!  
 
That’s why you are here and still reading…maybe hoping for some empathy, wisdom or insight that might lessen the dread that you carry when you wake up each morning and think about your work day.  
 
So let’s get to the point.  If it’s ok with you I’d like to share openly and honestly about a few things that might just challenge and shift your thinking to get you to a place where you can get your power back.  My intention is always to try and leave you better than I found you.
 
If the words you are about to read seem provocative and make you feel uncomfortable, I invite you to ask yourself why that might be and just notice that you are having a reaction.  Is it what I’m saying?  Is it the language I am using? My tonality? Or is it your perceived beliefs about me, given how little you know?  Maybe what you are reading is reminding you of someone or something else in the past that has made you uncomfortable… Maybe it is mirroring something you don’t like about yourself….… 
 
I just ask that you simply notice.  Notice your own reaction.  No one is judging or critiquing you right now but just notice…how YOU judge, get irritated or don’t feel at peace.  Maybe you don’t want to read this anymore.  Notice why you want to read on…what are you seeking here?
 
I genuinely believe that in 99% of cases people started out life with good intentions.  The only reason they become dysfunctional is because of their circumstances and their unwillingness to see their part (and power) in those moments, that they can change at any given time.  
 
Every person wants to feel seen, heard, accepted, appreciated, loved and respected.  Even the a**holes.  That’s why the a**holes  are bitter and difficult!  They don’t know how to get these feelings through other people, let alone themselves. They feel constantly let down. 
 
Every person is reacting in every moment. We are receivers trying to tune into a frequency that makes us happy. If we can get control of how WE react, then it puts a stop to the toxic cycle.
 
Let’s look at the Merriam-Webster definition of ‘toxic’ as pertaining to people:  
 
‘Extremely harsh, malicious or harmful’
 
We can all understand and relate to this.  
 
However, here’s the thing.  
 
It is far too easy in today’s society to be upset, offended or triggered by something we experience and then assign total blame to the offending party.  We then rally others to agree with us and petition for a rule to control everyone ‘out there’. We would rather create division and separation instead of unity. We enable a victim culture instead of helping people become more of themselves so they can overcome their fears.  We don’t encourage them to seek to understand those who are stuck in their negative stories and behaviours. We refuse to bravely look in the mirror and notice how we are reacting …which in turn can now create another toxic cycle…
 
Toxic situations are comprised of two elements. An action and a reaction .
 
Which element are you partaking in?
 
You have to be part of one of these elements in order for you to be experiencing any toxicity at all. If you are not present to the situation or engaging in it, you will not experience it.  
 
Whenever you are upset by something, notice how you are always there!!
 
Some of you will be feeling defensive right now.  
“Are you saying this is MY fault???” “How can it be MY fault that THEY are behaving so badly and are being SO mean to me?” 
 
When you can admit which element of the situation you are engaging in, then you can take back control of THAT part and start to eliminate toxicity in your life anywhere, with any one.
 
A person can walk around being as mean as they can be, but if there is no one else to react to it then they are just a mean person walking around stuck in their own story.
 
People are always going to people.  A**holes will a**hole.  Idiots will idiot.  
There is NOTHING you can do about other people. Let them be.  
You have no control over any one but yourself.
 
Your power is in deciding how you will REACT to them.  When you change how you react, other people will change how they react to you.  
 
Action (them) ——— Reaction (yours) ———Reaction (theirs)
 
This is human nature.  If your reaction is emotional and unstable, you can bet their reaction will be more emotional and unstable.
 
If you can’t envisage this at work, imagine your interactions with your family, partner or children.  It’s all the same.  It’s human nature.
 
Taking accountability for ourselves is one of the hardest and scariest things to do.  It also gives us the most power.  

Author Bio

Kirstey Jane is a creative professional with a passion for people!
 
Her experience is vast.  She has a 17 year career span in Learning & Development and Recruitment Management in the UK and Canada working with rapid growth start ups and legacy corporations alike.
 
She founded SuperCorporatePeople, a professional photography business 21 years ago and now writes, speaks and runs workshops on relationships and communication in the workplace and at home, through KirsteyJane.com

If you would like to learn more about how to do this and learn 3 simple, but very powerful tools to transform your relationships, then please sign up the free workshop I will be running on July 11th 2024, details can be found here.


The views and opinions expressed in this blog post belong solely to the original author(s) and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of CPHR Alberta.

 
 

The views and opinions expressed in this blog post belong solely to the original author(s) and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of CPHR Alberta.



By Jessica Jaithoo May 5, 2026
Author: Nidhi Gandhi , 2026 Social Media Committee Volunteer Motherhood is often described as the world’s most demanding job, yet it rarely comes with a job description, a performance review, or a manual. It is a profound and often relentless act of stewardship that asks us to be an anchor, a strategist, and a source of support, sometimes all at once. For modern HR executives, this reality carries added complexity. Our professional lives are spent navigating organizational health, talent development, and culture. We shape workplace policies, advocate for employee well‑being, and bring the people perspective to the leadership table. When we step into the dual role of executive and mother, we aren’t simply balancing two lives; we are bringing together two complementary skill sets. As Deni Ruiz, Executive Director of People and Culture at Keyano College, explains: “In my role, I balance strategy with humanity, supporting leaders and employees, navigating change and complexity, and making tough decisions when needed. I am supported by an amazing team of professionals who care deeply for our colleagues, the College, and the community.” Being both an executive and a mother means showing up focused in the boardroom while also being a safe harbor at home. It requires constant recalibration and a willingness to redefine what success looks like at different stages of life. It also reinforces an important truth: empathy is not just a personal quality, it is a leadership asset. When we asked Deni how she transitions from mom mode to executive mode, she shared: “It’s less of a flip of a switch and more of a recalibration. I go from solving activities, snack logistics, and figuring out the root cause of meltdowns, to solving organizational challenges and understanding what motivates and engages people in the workplace. But at the core, both roles are about supporting people and making good, informed decisions, just at different complexity levels. A deep breath, a chai latte, and I’m in an executive mode. What I find a bit more challenging is transitioning back to ‘mom mode’ at the end of a long, busy day.” In this conversation, we look beyond titles to discuss the realities of nurturing a high‑level career while raising the next generation. Whether you are climbing the ladder, building a team, or navigating your own career path, this dialogue offers both reflection and reassurance that your path can evolve, and that is okay. How has motherhood shaped your approach to HR policies? Does it change how you view things like flexible work, benefits, or performance management? Motherhood has deepened my understanding of how policies land in real life. It’s made me more attuned to what employees are balancing outside of work, including growing demands related to child care, elder care, and mental health. That perspective has strengthened my support for flexible and inclusive workplaces, not as perks, but as tools for retention, productivity, and respect. Being a mom hasn’t lowered performance expectations; it has clarified how we enable people to meet them by recognizing the realities that shape today’s workforce and equipping leaders to respond thoughtfully. What is the most rewarding “full circle” moment you’ve had where your professional role and motherhood intersected? There are moments when I’m coaching my kids on family values, goal setting, or how to navigate conflict with their sibling, and other moments when I’m coaching leaders through difficult workplace conversations or career development decisions. I’ve realized I draw on the same patience, clarity, and empathy in both settings. Seeing those conversations handled well, and knowing they positively affect someone’s experience at work, feels like a true intersection of both roles. Just as each child is different, even within the same family, employees experience work differently. Understanding those realities helps build alignment and trust. What advice would you give to a mid ‑ career HR professional who is hesitant to pursue an executive role because they fear it will compromise their family life? It’s a valid concern. Executive roles come with more responsibility and mental load, but they also offer greater autonomy to shape how and when you work. The key is being intentional. Be clear on your non‑negotiables, choose organizations whose values align with yours, and remember that strong leadership includes modeling sustainable ways of working, not constant availability. If you could give a Mother’s Day gift to working moms, aside from a day off, what would it be? I’d give them the freedom to be genuine and true flexibility, the kind that is trusted, consistent, and free from career trade‑offs. When people don’t have to choose between being present at home and being seen as committed at work, that’s where working moms can truly thrive. The idea of perfect work‑life balance is overrated. Priorities shift over time, and only you and your family know what the right combination looks like in any given season. Deni’s journey reminds us that senior leadership and motherhood are not competing forces to be managed, but complementary roles that strengthen one another. The empathy cultivated at home makes us better leaders, just as strategic thinking at work helps us build stronger foundations for our families. As we celebrate Mother’s Day, let this conversation prompt reflection. You do not have to choose between being a successful professional and a present, nurturing parent. You can be both, and you can lead through both.
By Jessica Jaithoo April 21, 2026
Author: Taia Northrup , 2026 Social Media Committee Volunteer Building Safer Workplaces Every April 28th, World Day for Safety and Health at Work serves as an important reminder that workplace safety isn’t just a policy, it is a commitment to people. While procedures, protocols, and compliance requirements are essential, the true foundation of a safe workplace lies in a culture where employees feel valued, heard, and protected. In today’s evolving environment, safety goes beyond hard hats and hazard signs. It includes psychological safety, inclusive practices, and the ability for employees to speak up without fear. As organizations continue to adapt in a tech driven world, the role of Human Resources in shaping and sustaining this culture has never been more critical. Traditionally, workplace safety has been associated with physical risk prevention. While this is still vital, modern organizations are expanding their focus to include mental health, preventing burnout, and overall well-being. Which Leads to the Culture of Psychological Safety A truly safe workplace is one where employees feel comfortable sharing ideas, raising concerns, and admitting mistakes without fear. Psychological safety is essential for innovation, collaboration, and overall organizational success. Safety doesn’t always require large scale initiatives… Often it is small, consistent actions that make the biggest difference, these include: Checking in with employees regularly Offering training and refreshers Celebrating safe practices and milestones Creating opportunities for feedback As we recognize World Day for Safety and Health at Work, it is an opportunity to reflect on how we can continue to build safer, healthier workplaces. By prioritizing both physical and psychological well-being, organizations can create environments where employees thrive. At its core, safety is about people. When we lead with empathy, listen with intention, and act with purpose, we don’t just meet safety standards, we exceed them!
April 21, 2026
Chartered Professionals in Human Resources (CPHRs) bring a unique and deeply relevant skill set to senior governance roles—particularly those focused on equity, inclusion, and systemic change. With expertise in ethical leadership, organizational governance, people systems, and inclusive decision‑making, CPHR professionals are well positioned to contribute at the highest levels of public service. The Government of Canada is currently seeking applications for the role of Chairperson of the Canadian Race Relations Foundation (CRRF) Board of Directors, a Governor in Council appointment that offers an opportunity to shape national conversations on race relations and advance meaningful change across Canada.
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